


New Directions

by artist_artists



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 05:55:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3279242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artist_artists/pseuds/artist_artists
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer knows that kissing Roderick was stupid. He knows, but he did it anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Directions

**Author's Note:**

> Slight reference to what happened between Kurt and Karofsky in season 2.

Spencer knows that kissing Roderick was stupid.  


He knows, but he did it anyway, and he can’t even blame alcohol. The party Mason and Madison had thrown at their house to celebrate the Invitationals victory was so incredibly lame that the only alcohol there had been a bottle of wine and a few cans of Bud Light, all of which belonged to their parents. When Spencer dared to suggest drinking it, he earned two identical narrow-eyed glares. 

Boredom might be a believable excuse, but Spencer knows that wasn’t really the issue, either. The party was awful, with just the six of them in the McCarthys’ living room with parents upstairs. They’d ordered pizza and tried to mingle, but awkwardness had won out and soon enough everyone was gathered around the TV, searching for something to watch on Netflix. This wasn’t like the parties Spencer had been to since joining the football team, full of loud music and alcohol and couples sneaking off to unoccupied bedrooms for some alone time. It was hard to deal with the quiet here, even with the TV to distract him. 

It’s not that he dislikes anyone in the glee club. He doesn’t know them well enough to dislike them, but he can’t see most of them ending up as close friends. Mason and Madison are friendly enough, but their closeness unnerves Spencer, and their excessive cheerfulness is a bit much to take. Kitty scares him, if he’s being honest. She’s ruthless with the Cheerios and she’s given him no reason to think that will be any different with the glee club. He admires her, really, in spite of his fear, but for now it seems like the best way to stay on her good side is not to mess with her. Jane is polite but businesslike, taking everything so seriously and never picking up on his sarcasm. She seems to relax a bit around Roderick, which makes sense. Roderick is the most appealing member of the club to Spencer as well. He’s quiet and awkward and kind of a suck-up, but Spencer’s seen a bit of a bitter, sarcastic sense of humor shine through in the short time they’ve known each other. Roderick is definitely the most likely candidate to tolerate Spencer’s own less-than-sunny disposition and dark sense of humor. Of course, Roderick is also the person who went missing shortly after the world’s most boring party turned even more boring as Mason read movie titles aloud and made everyone vote for their favorite. 

Spencer hadn’t been planning on searching for Roderick when he vacated his spot on the couch, but after grabbing another can of Coke from the refrigerator, he caught a glimpse out the window of Roderick sitting alone at the table on the back porch, headphones over his ears. It couldn’t be any more boring than what was going on in the living room, so Spencer walked out the back door and joined him. 

The next 15 minutes are the part of the story that make Spencer’s face flush, a jumbled mess of embarrassment and excitement. His memory is a little jumbled, too, because he remembers Roderick explaining that sometimes groups of people are hard to deal with and he needs a break. He remembers talking about Jimi Hendrix and football and Rachel Berry’s terrible TV show, but he can’t for the life of him remember who moved closer to who or why either of them thought it would be a good idea to start kissing each other right on the McCarthys’ back porch. Spencer hadn’t kissed anyone since middle school, and had never had the opportunity to kiss a guy at all. Objectively, it probably wasn’t a great kiss but it still felt pretty amazing. At other parties, Spencer’s always on high alert. Everyone knows he’s gay but that doesn’t mean they’re interested in seeing him act on it, or being the recipient of even the slightest sign of affection from him. Being in glee club may be a risk, but after performing with the club, after feeling Roderick’s lips on his, Spencer’s realized that being in the club is also a great source of relief. 

But after Kitty stomped to the back porch, thankfully yelling loud enough to give them some time to separate before she threw the door open, they were forced back into the living room for more bonding time. Roderick didn’t look his way for the rest of the night. It’s been a week now, and Roderick hasn’t spoken to him in school or at glee at all. They never spoke before this, and Roderick’s kind of a loser who gets made fun of all the time and really Spencer shouldn’t care, but it bugs him anyway. They kissed and it was awesome and there’s no reason it shouldn’t happen again, unless Roderick is straight. Or scared. 

When Spencer decides to seek advice, he settles on asking Kurt. They haven’t really spoken since Kurt’s embarrassing attempt to get him to join the club, but the guy seems nice enough. Spencer has much more in common with Sam, and he really likes Sam, but Kurt will likely have more insight on this particular problem than anyone else he knows. 

After glee rehearsal about a week and a half after the kiss, Spencer hangs around in the choir room after they’re dismissed with instructions to brainstorm more recruitment ideas. Everyone else leaves, including Rachel, who leaves with Kitty as Kurt heads into the office to grab his things. When he appears again, he’s surprised to see Spencer leaning against the piano.

“Oh, hello,” Kurt says, smiling. “Already have an idea for how to get new members?”

“Uh, no, not really. I just wanted to ask you something. It’s personal.”

Kurt’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but he gets them under control quickly. “Sure, of course, definitely,” he babbles, and Spencer would laugh at his eagerness to help if he didn’t feel so nervous about asking for it. “What’s up?”

“Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t… out?”

Kurt chews on his lip, considering. “Yes. Kind of, I guess. He kissed me, it wasn’t consensual.” He pauses for a moment, his eyes clouding over and his lips turning down into a small frown. “It’s kind of a long story, I guess. Did something happen that you want to talk about?”

“It was consensual,” Spencer says. “I think, at least. We were both under the influence of extreme boredom, though, so who knows.”

Kurt looks amused. “But it’s someone who’s not out?”

“Or maybe not even gay,” Spencer says with a shrug, actively avoiding any eye contact as things get a bit more personal. “I don’t know him very well and he hasn’t talked to me since and it’s been over a week.”

“That sucks. Does he seem mad at you?”

“How would I know?” Spencer snaps. “I told you he hasn’t talked to me.”

Kurt holds his hands up, placating. “Sorry, sorry. But have you tried talking to him?”

Spencer doesn’t reply, which apparently is enough of an answer for Kurt.

“You should talk to him,” he tells Spencer. “Somewhere private, though, if you don’t think he’s out. Make sure he knows you’re not going to tell anyone if he doesn’t want you to, and just see how he’s feeling. Maybe he’s interested in you, too.”

“I didn’t say I was interested in him,” Spencer says, meeting Kurt’s eyes again. He can tell Kurt doesn’t buy it.

“Right, of course. But if you _were_ , I think that’s probably your best bet. Or even if you’re not, and you just want to talk things out so you’re not avoiding each other anymore.” 

Spencer considers disputing the fact that he’s avoiding anyone - he’s not a wussy, after all - but he doubts he can give a convincing argument here. He mumbles his thanks and gets out of there before Kurt can attempt to continue this heart-to-heart.

“You’re welcome,” Kurt calls after him. “If you ever need anything else, don’t be afraid to come talk to me!”

-

It takes another day of not speaking with Roderick at school for Spencer to take action and add him on Facebook. It’s not terribly brave, but Facebook messaging is private, at least, and Spencer’s starting to think that if he has to start this dialogue face-to-face it’s never going to happen.

It only takes about 15 minutes for Roderick to confirm him as a friend, and 5 more minutes for Spencer to sit in front of his laptop, trying to compose his first message.

_**Spencer:** I’m not going to tell anyone about what happened if that’s what you think. _

Roderick’s reply comes almost immediately.

_**Roderick:** Of course you’re not._

Spencer frowns after reading the reply, unsure if it’s sarcasm. Maybe there would’ve been benefits to doing this face-to-face, after all. Roderick’s typing again, so Spencer waits before replying.

_**Roderick:** That would require you to acknowledge my existence. Or admitting that you’re in the glee club. _

_**Spencer:** I’m pretty sure kissing you required an acknowledgement of your existence??_

_**Roderick:** At school you ignore all of us except Kitty. _

_**Spencer:** Well I’m kind of scared of Kitty._

_**Roderick:** Understandable. But you don’t even have anyone else as a facebook friend except me._

_**Spencer:** Well no one added me, either._

Spencer sighs, then types the names of his fellow glee club members into the search bar so he can send them all friend requests. 

_**Spencer:** I added them all, happy now?_

_**Roderick:** Sure? _

_**Spencer:** I don’t really know what that has to do with us. I just wanted to tell you that I’m not gonna tell anyone that you kissed a guy because I’m not that kind of asshole so you don’t have to worry about it._

_**Roderick:** I wasn’t worried._

_**Spencer:** I thought that’s why you were ignoring me._

_**Roderick:** I’m not ignoring you, we’re talking._

_**Spencer:** I meant this whole last week, idiot_

_**Roderick:** Oh right this whole last week when you didn’t talk to me at all either? Why would I even think you wanted to talk to me?_

_**Spencer:** Because we kissed and that’s kind of a big deal?_

Roderick doesn’t type anything for a few minutes, and Spencer’s starting to worry when he finally sees that he’s typing again.

_**Roderick:** It was a big deal for me but I figured it wasn’t for you._

Spencer takes a deep breath, preparing to share more than he’s used to.

_**Spencer:** No, definitely a big deal. I was pretty annoyed we got interrupted._

_**Roderick:** Yeah me too._

_**Spencer:** So maybe we could do something this weekend? You can come over here and listen to those bootlegs my grandma has if you want._

Sending off the message makes him more nervous than he’s felt in a while. He’s putting himself out there, he’s asking someone out for the first time and it’s someone who’s terribly unpopular and it might lead to bad things for both of them. That’s not what worries him most, though. What worries him most is that the answer might be no. Fortunately, he’s not left in suspense for long.

_**Roderick:** Yeah that would be cool. _

When Spencer’s dad knocks on his open door and peers inside, and Spencer can tell his dad is confused by the the huge grin on his son’s face.

“Sorry to interrupt, but dinner’s about ready,” his dad says.

“I’ll be right down,” promises Spencer.

_**Spencer:** Okay awesome. I have to go have dinner but I’ll talk to you at school tomorrow._

_**Roderick:** Okay, bye._

_**Spencer:** Bye._

Before Spencer closes his browser window, he sees four new notifications telling him that the rest of the New Directions have accepted his friend requests. It doesn’t dim his smile at all.


End file.
